Monday, July 30, 2007

You're Job has been elimanted

Wow!!! What a way to start a Monday morning meeting. The owners of the Wholesalert hat I work for was here from South Dakota this morning. The meeting started out with that they wanted to nip any rumors in the bud before it became public. The line of furnace that I was hired to be the equipment corridnor, and outside sales for, it was determined that they were dropping the line. My mouth hit the table. Here I am in training, inside sales so i gain the knowledge of how this company operated before I hit the road and promise things that the company can not deliver, would an alcoholic do something like that. Well I was assured that I still have a job. the other line that we carry would be out main line now.

The old Steve would of flown off the handle, yelled, screamed, bitched and then asked what about me. Today with my program i listened waited and asked question calmly. The decision was a business decision, for the good of the company. I would not want to think how I would of reacted if I was still using.

I knew right then i needed a meeting tonight. One starts in 45 mins. I went blog stalking right away. Couldn't post. reached out of a fellow AA in the program. I have come far. Still have a longs way to go, but today, doing it one day at time, just keeping it simple is the best I can do.

Talked to my sponsor Sun am, just like every sun am. He told me to find a local sponsor. one that is close just in case. He asked me about my morning prayer. What morning, been doing it in the evening. "That make sense, Pray for guidance and strentgh after the shit hits the fan. How about asking for courage to face today's challenges? Maybe those challenges could be solved before they are problems." I miss his words of wisdom some days.

Well Go ta run. i have my kids this week. The oldest is flying to Texas for 2 weeks on Sat. So this way I can see them for a week before school starts when he returns. We are mending some fences. Tearning down walls piece by piece. Someday fast, someday slow. but progress

Well once a week is getting better. I will be back soonerrrrrrrrrrrrr. Still missing ya-all.

Hugs and kisses

Monday, July 23, 2007

The newcomer

Today I was reminded why it is important for me to go to to meeting. The newcomer. Yes i know at 8 months that's still me, but tonight's meeting there were 3 people there with less than 30 days combined. That was me, that was you, that was us not to long ago. I need meetings, i need the newcomer to remind me that all my misery can be refunded at anytime. Today I awoke alive and sober thats all i have, That is all I need.

It has been to long since I did anything gratitude list.
I'm grateful my HP
I'm grateful for the hands AA
I'm grateful for my family
I'm grateful for my sponsor
I'm grateful for my new family in AA
I'm grateful to discover that I still can't dance
I'm grateful to spend my 1st family function sober, with my grandmother still there to enjoy it
I'm grateful for the newcomer
I'm grateful for all of you that visit my blog, and call be back
I'm grateful for the Loving hands of all of you.

Its been a long time since I really posted. The true raw emotions that consumed this blog in its early days, most of the time I was working thru problems. Today with my problems, I know what to do most of the time, wow does that sound like the promises. Things are still rough getting use to a new life in a new town, but you know what i have something today that i haven't had in a long time. ME. A sober person who is no longer afraid of what might happen, a person that now ,,,ok I won't lie I still don't like change, but i can accept that I can not control its outcome.

I miss all of you. I missed blogging, I missed me. I strayed away, played a little on the dark side, thought I could do this with out meeting, with out talking to a sponsor with out talking to other aa's. I was wrong.

I will be back and keep coming back

Peace, hugs and kisses

Sunday, July 15, 2007

I'm back,

Sorry I have been away for so long. This was not a good thing. I tried to do this on my own. I knoe better than that. I need the hands of aa and you for support. I made it to my first meeting in Appleton since I moved down here. I have had a hard time adjusting to the move from the kids. Teenagers being teenagers. Drunks being drunks. that all i am a drunk, a sober drunk but I'm no different from others. This is going to be short. Kids are here this week. Trying to repair some broken walls with them.

The picture is from the UP of Michigan. This is were I go both in my mind and physically to connect with my hp asking and prayering to do his will not mine.

the other pic is a picture of Sober Steve at his first sober Wedding. Don't worry it wasn't mine. I will be back again. I will keep coming back. I missed you all. i missed My blogger and stalker buds.
peace hugs and kisses