"Don't even think about it!!"

HAppy Sunday to all. Last weekend I had one of the best weekends in a long time. It started out that it was a good thing that I have a program. I left work early to drive back to pick up my youngest son. It is about 3 hours back up north. She gets done with work 5, so I tried to pick a place to meet close to her. A park and ride about 45 mins south of her house. I thought it was at 51 and either A or Hwy 8. Well it was neither,. But I told her that if she got to Hwy 8 before the park and ride to wait there. Well it was further south by Hwy 86. Anyways 1 1/2 hours later she loaded mins on her cell phone and said she was at Hwy 8 and A at a wayside not 51. Ok I can't control that. It was late Friday by the time we got to Appleton. Sat Morning. We putzzed and did nothing.

Sunday Morning. The Packer Game. My boss gave me 2 tickets, well to my son a few Weeks ago on a Sat. I brought him to work, My boss asked him to put together about 100 flashlights to hand out. So he got some tickets in trade. This would be "A" first Packer Game (Yes I'm a bears Fan". We drove to the Game with the owners of the company. Had breakfast at Brett Farve steak house. Walked up and down the roads looking at the tailgaters. No thoughts of drinking. Just bringing in the flavor of all the steaks, brats, and the recking smell of beer. We went in early, he couldn't believe it. Saw Dale Enhardt JR. We were sitting there about 30 mins to kick off, no one there yet. A lady walked by adn yelled "Ice cold Beer." I stood up, what I stood up,,maybe they have N/A beer. He looked over and Said with though little baby blues. "Don't even think about it Dad!" What I wasn't thinking anything, "Liar". Ok. Made it thru the game. Afterwords My boss invited us to Bretts Steak house again for Dinner. He ordered my son Crab legs, I got ribs, they ended up buying. I sat there thinking about the what if's, what If I had that drink, I wouldn't stop. I wouldn't be sitting here talking and being social. I wouldn't have the chance to thank my son. I wouldn't have this job that I love.

So on the way home I called his mom since we were late really late. To Meet here about 1/2 way this time she was to drive 2 hours, but I felt responsible for getting him back late. On the way I looked over and thanked him and he asked for what? I told him thanks for for the kind words you said. He said you're welcome. Did he really know what I meant? I told him thank-you without you knowing it you saved me. He answered "I know" . "You know, know what?" "Dad when you stood up you wanted that drink, I knew, but you didn't need that." I started to cry he is such a great kid. A smart kid.

In a letter from my wife she told me that only two good things came out of 20years together. He was one of them. That letter hurt, it cut right to the bone. But today, I knew it is true. It was the way I was in the past. Not today. Months ago I would of tried to run back to the bottle to forget that pain. Well Not today. I hurt my family, her family, her friends, but today I walk sober, I might not have them here with me, but I pray someday I pray that they can ALL forgive me. As Far as the my wife forgiving me, Hell would freeze over first, the oldest the cubs would have to win the world series. So there is hope. As far as the my youngest he doesn't remember all the bad, but he remembers enough. I fell that he has already forgave me. As far as me really forgiving myself...It hasn't happened yet, but I get better everyday. Time to get a different song on here this is depressing,,walk a little straighter daddy.

peace hugs and kisses
Steve