Its been over 11 months since I last drank anything. But why can I still lust after its tatse and desire it touch on my lips. Its because I'm an alcoholic who keeps the self talk up. This week I'm in Portland Or. I drove thru the mountains on Sun it was great. Sight seeing all the colors against the snowy mts tops. This was some thing I would never do when drinking. I would be like the est of the people here. Heading right to the bar. But for me stopping after on e or two is not possible. I I went out and explored. Looked at nature. Looked at myself who I am today. I am special and loved for whom I am today. I still might be hated by others for who I was in the past, but I still can not make them forgive me, or go back and change what I did.
So Today I sit in a Hotel alone in Orgeon. Knowing that if for any reason I would not be around tommorrow I am comforted in the fact that I did not hurt anyone Today. In fact I could consider myself lucky to make it today. This morning was a bad moring. I started it over and its OK! I didn't drink I didn't beat myself up for wanting a drink last night. Thought of what I needed to do to fix the problem. The problem is that,,,nothing..The old stinking thinking just wanted to point out that i was different,,,So what...
Gotta run... Going for a drive. A drive SOBER in this great city
Peace
hugs and Kisses
Steve
PS...If you beat yourself up, you loose the chance to do something great!!!!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
.jpg)
3 comments:
Always glad when you post. I miss reading them. You are almost to the 1 year mark and I am so proud of you. I can see how you have grown and know that you will continue to do so.
Great advice about not beating yourself up. I really should try to heed that. I am too good at beating myself up and not good enough at being kind.
I'm so psyched that you are coming up on a year! I remember when you first started blogging because it was when I did also... just keep it going one day at a time and I can wahoo for your anniversary :)
~Judith
Portland is a great city.. so pretty! Sorry I missed your email in time to call,etc... 419-204-8729
peace man, glad youre doing ok!
Post a Comment