Wednesday, November 21, 2007

the next right thing

This time last week I was thinking and thinking and praying for guidance about doing the next right thing. And not being selfish, and putting myself first without hurting other, and most of all doing what is right.

Well being from Northern Wisconsin, Deer hunting a national holiday. My thoughts where consumed about where I was this time a year ago. I was at my bottom, reaching out for somethings, not knowing what. It was just about a year ago that I tried to kill myself during hunting. I was not sure if I was strong enough and ready to hunt. So many things changed from then. I had to find a hunting spot on public land. My son, the youngest this would be his first hunt. His grandfather, my father in law called and wanted to know where "A" was hunting. I told him that "A" wanted to hunt with me, but I knew he would see deer hunting with him. What to do...I asked my wife, if she would go to here parents that weekend and wake him up and get him off in the morning. Her father does not have to patience for that, and from past experience it turned my oldest son off from hunting because of getting yelled at about being late.

Well Last wed I decided that maybe I wasn't ready for this, and "A" would be better off hunting with his grandfather. I had no faith in myself about making it Thur without regrets and without not wanting to use. I drove 3 hours north to drop off all of his gear and gun. That way he could hunt with grandpa. I was pulling out of my parents drive when my wife called and said that "A" would be better hunting with me and she didn't want her father to torture another one of our kids. WOW. I was right. Drove back in a big snow storm. Drove all that for nothing I thought. It wasn't for nothing. My HP was trying to tell me something. Have faith in myself. He knew I could do this. He knew that connecting with my son and connecting with nature is what I needed. I was a drunk before, but not today. He wanted me to enjoy my son's FIRST opening day. And I did. We hunted all day. Laughed and joked around. smiled and do you know what I didn't regret the past.

Happy Thanksgiving...This will be My first one Sober. I might even be able to taste the food this year.

Peace hugs and Kisses
Steve

9 comments:

Scott M. Frey said...

got your text man, thanks for the bit o news! kewl he got a deer! glad y'all are getting to hunt!

peace my friend

butterflygirl said...

Happy Thanksgiving

Sylvia said...

Glad it went well. I cannot believe it has been almost a year for you being clean and sober and that I first found your blog. How time flies. You're doing good.

Judith said...

I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. I'm glad you've made it this far and your HP has taken you along.

Anonymous said...

Happy Belated Thanksgiving. Hope you are doing well on your path. I cannot believe, wait a second, yes I can, that you are getting a year. You're not there yet, um, me thinks it will be tomorrow? Holy Cow, geeeez. It is crazy to know I was sober when I met you then fell ill to the very same Dz we both suffer from.

Crazy, cunning, baffling and powerful. Thank God for this little thing called AA and the steps.

Sylvia said...

How are you?

Anonymous said...

Ho! Ho! Ho!

Hi Sober Steve,

May the Blessings of Christmas bring you Peace and Joy throughout the New Year.

Greetings and lotta loves from Malaysia.

Sylvia said...

Hi, Steve. Drop by to say hello and that you are missed.

Sylvia said...

Hi, Steve. Drop by to say hello and that you are missed.