With this new year, it should bring new and exciting feelings to me, but it doesn't. I have been sober for over a year, big deal. I need to start living again. I need to become one of the people that I envoy at meetings, one who laughs, not cries. One who gets called instead of one waiting for the courage to call another. One who loves, not one who misses what he loved. I haven't been to a meeting in weeks, Haven't blogged, haven't been myself. I'm not sure what I miss most. I cry alot by myself, that seems to bring me further down. My job is taking a toll on me. Long hours is the only thing that is working, I can't wollow in self pitty. I miss so much of the person I was becoming, I pulled back into my shell and can not come out. I'm afraid I afraid of hurting anyone again.
My kids and I are getting along great, The oldest doesn't fight to come see me the youngest he is just an angel sent from heaven to help me. My girlfriend ( yes I have one) supports my recovery. I just am scared to death of failing. This feeling started around my one year mark. I went and spoke at the treatment center that I went to. Told my story hoping it will make a difference to at least one person. A differnece what is that. Today I don't feel different I just feel like a sober sick person. One with no outlook on life left.
I haven't been this far down in months. Blogging use to help, going to do more of that, and surf and talk to you who are making it, making that differnece. I need to be that person again.
peace hugs and kisses
Steve
About Me
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- Sober Steve
- Wisconsin, United States
- I'm a Forty year old male. This is the first time in 23 years that I walk down a sober path. I started this journey to save my marriage. Now I continue down this path for myself. These are my struggles trying to make it thru just another 24 hours. It took losing my wife to find Love, love for myself.
5 comments:
Somewhere I heard that Meeting Makers Make It.
I have to go to them every day.
Who's the creepy Micky guy and why doesn't he have any Emotional Fitness?
Steve, friend, you're sounding awful close to clinical depression. You'd best get some help with that and also get some fresh air. Take walks, stay active, DO NOT sit for hours in front of the TV. Nothing uplifting there! Stay positive, life is ahead - don't waste it.
dmc
Steve,
Can you block "micky"? His hijacking your blog is terribly rude.
hi Steve, sorry to hear you're feeling so down... but I am glad that you and the boys are getting along well.. that's a good thing, and you're still sober and moving ahead in life!
one day at a time, keep trying to remain grateful!
Hey Guy! You don't know me, but I ran across your blog a while ago and I'd been worried about you believe it or not. Congrats and keep turning to the pen and not the bottle. Stay Positive!
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