Friday, March 16, 2007

Found in Rehab

Found: A 40 year male, slightly balding, a little over weight. What hair there is is brown with brown eyes. A very good sense of humor. A man who loves life, loves his family and friends. A man with a sense of direction. A man who has surrendered himself to a HP. and admitted to himself that he has a disease called Alcoholism.

Now that I found myself I know what I need to do with myself. Embrace this new life of sobriety. With AA and my friends at my back I will walk out of rehab next week with my head held high, knowing that I am not a loser, not a failure, no a problem of society. I am Special. I am Loved, I am an alcoholic named Steve. That 8 days That I was home during rehab. I know believe it was my HP telling me to grow up. Get with it. Embrace him, and embrace the program. sh*t or get of the pot. Be in AA not around it. I grew up so much. Today should of been my last day. I would not be ready to walk out these doors today. i know what is waiting out there will be there next week, but for Today I am safe in these walls for another 7 days. & more days of tools, 7 more days or serene peacefully being. I'm going home on a pass this weekend. Hope to take the boys to a water park, and laugh and play like I was 7 again. Be Stevie the kid again. Laugh and cry like a kid. Today in Art therapy we had a shaving creme fight. Took me back to being a kid again. I can laugh and smile without booze, without it aid. I can be the life of a party sober. I can be Steve!!!!!

I'm at the YMCA right now. Between treatment and this place I have remained sain. Without the workout of the physical and mental side I would not be whole. Without All of you I would not be who I am today. A person in recovery. I am ready to go out and face the world, but slowly, with tools in my hands and the instructions manual of the big book. I will be ok. Hold on tight, more will be reveled. WOW what strong words.

Going swimming. Wish you could see me right now jamming to some song on MTV. My kids would be laughing. "Some rap crap" in my words. I danced the other night to "junk in my trunk" who would of thought.

Peace
Hugs and kisses
Steve

10 comments:

dAAve said...

Great!
Enjoy.

lushgurl said...

Hey Steve, I hope you have a great weekend with your kids, lots of laughter and love. You sound great...He helps those who help themselves!
Love and HUGS to you

ArahMan7 said...

I'm glad you're Steve. I'm happy for you. Take care, my friend. Have a happy, happy weekend with your loved ones.

Shadow said...

they day i left rehab, i drove out the gate, and i stopped... free to go and do what i want. but so much had changed, in my mind at least... you enjoy it! and remember what happened there, it'll keep you going.

Unknown said...

That is so great. Keep it up Steve. Hope you have a wonderful week.

G~

Grace said...

Called in to say Hi and glad to see you doing well :-)

Anonymous said...

You took me back to the day I left rehab, Steve.....for me it was a day filled with ALL kinds of emotions, so you may want to be prepared for that part, too.
Awesome job you are doing, my blogger pal! Keep coming back. Keep coming back! Keep coming back!
Peace and Love to you,
Scout

Shadow said...

...how you doing?

Unknown said...

PSYCHOLOGICAL FUTURE
The past is all our accumulated memories. These memories act in the present & create our hopes and fears of the future. These hopes and fears are the psychological future; without them there is no future. So the present is the action of the past, and the mind is this movement of the past. The past acting in the present creates what we call the future. This response of the past is involuntary, it is not summoned or invited, it is upon us before we know it.

QUESTION: How are you going to be from the past, Steve?

ANSWER: To be aware of this movement without choice – because choice again is more of this same movement of the past – is to observe the past in action: such observation is not a movement of the past. To observe without the image of thought is action is action in which the past has ended. To observe the tree without thought is action without the past. The state of seeing is more important than what is seen.

Unknown said...

Nowhere in the 12 steps does it say that you should quit drinking, or help anyone else to quit drinking, either. Nowhere do the words SOBRIETY, RECOVERY, ABSTINENCE, HEALTH, HAPPINESS, JOY, & LOVE appear in the 12 Steps. The word ‘alcohol’ is only used once, when it was PATCHED into the 1st Step for the word “sin.” But Wilson wrote “ We are powerless over ‘alcohol’… Oxford Group Slogan; “We are powerless over sin & have been defeated by it.