Wow. With one of my last days in group, they saw the real Steve. I cried right from the get go. I read the story about GOD and the double bike. Letting god get in front and steer, pedal giving him control. I failed so badly at this during my DZ. She got inside me today, made me, ok I let myself, leave the pile at shit at the door today. All the things I wanted to say for months, for years, I had never had the strenght to say. I was scared, mad and upset. i crying now in the YMCA with 30 kids looking at me funny. But I don't care. This is my program. This is my life today. A life without substance abuse. A clean life, a better life. I wanted to say so much more but I couldn't no matter what I said it was said with tears. Big tears. This 45 days drove my wife further away, but I came back. I drove her away thinking I needed her to make me strong. I am strong. I can be strong I just need to believe in myself. Like other believe in me. The way God believes in me. Thurs night is my medallion ceremony. I leave Friday. Not sure if I am ready, for how much I wanted to walk in the beginning I want to stay now. Boy how I have grown.
I need to get going right now. Kids on spring break, waiting list for PC.
Peace
hugs and kisses
Steve
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10 comments:
Aww Steve, you almost made me cry! It may be tough to walk out the doors of rehab, it's been a very safr place for you, once you let your guard down. Try to always hang on to all of the good stuff you have learned while there...
You ARE strong...
You CAN be happy with (or without) your wife...
Recovery FEELS good...
The BEST is yet to come...
Keep on believing in yourself and taking the right path, you'll never be alone!
love and HUGS
way to go STEVE
Steve. YOU ARE ONE COOL GEEZER.
And I am ALWAYS right about these things!
Oh Yeh!
We need the rocky theme tune for this post..
GO FOR IT STEVIE!!
THE TRUE DISCIPLE
‘Why do you call me, “Lord, Lord” and not do what I say? Every one who comes to me and listens to my words and acts on them – I will show you what he is like. He is like the man who when he built is house dug, and dug deep, and laid the foundations on rock; when the river was in flood it bore down on the house but could not shake it, it was so well built. But the one who listens and does nothing is like the man who built his house on soil, with no foundations; as soon as the river bore down on it, it collapsed; and what a ruin this house became!’[Luke 6: 46 –49]
You're strong, Steve. I know you can do it.
Dinner is usually about 6, you can come on by anytime : )
I think a lot of us felt that way leaving rehab. I know I did. I went to meetings right away, I introduced myself and asked for phone numbers, and kept coming back... YOU CAN DO IT! :)
Hey Stevie, Our 'friend' Michael is what the good lord invented spam filters for by the way..
hey! i went really reluctantly (don't like things i can't control), thought these people were nuts when they said i'd cry when i left, but cried a whole bunch while i was there, and i did cry when i left. mine was a 3 week rehab, and i just felt way way emotional when it was time to go. so yes, they were right. and it was good leaving, scary of the things i then had to face, by myself, and i'm still standing. so will you!!!!!!
I'm HOME!!!!I made it. Now is the time go Walk the Walk. I have been talking the talk for months. Now I believe, Now I must recieve. Will post soon. Want to sepnd time with my family. God I missed them. Just want to hug them all night. I cried during the Medillion cermenony.
Night for now.
peace
Hugs and Big kisses
Steve
Ahhh. Bless. GOOD TO SEE YOU BACK STEVE!
Enjoy time with the family, and I hope you find some LOVELY meetings you can start to make your 'spiritual home' near you.
Look forward to see you posting!
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