My stepping Stones to 60 DAYS

Day SIXTY. 59 days ago I would be breaking my arm patting myself on the back. I have learned that this is not all about STEVE. I got my 60 day chip today. I had a chance to thank the family there today. I hugged most of them on the way back to my seat. Thanked the ones that where there at my first meeting. Now I am sending out the biggest hug that I can to all of you. With this table that we sit at on the web, you all have listened, cried, and prayed with me. Thank-you my new family.

Instead of a Sunday gratitude list. I want to recap this gratitude story. Following the stepping stones.

In November my wife told me that she was emotionally bankrupt. She had nothing left inside her except for hurt. I suggested counseling, but she said it was too late, she couldn't see getting herself back. I asked that we could wait until after the holidays for the Kids and for us. I was hoping that maybe she could see me change. She still talked about divorce. On November 28 I decided to quite drinking, a problem that plagued our marriage for years. She asked me many times to "slow down", "you seemed to drink a lot this weekend", "It's not even 11am and you are drinking." None of this sunk in at the time. I thought that maybe if I quite she would stay. Later I would discover something great Love for myself, and that I now stay sober for me. On day 3 of not drinking the withdraw was to hard to handle. I searched the web for answers. On the AA web-site there was a column of recovery blogs so I went and looked at them. I read many of them. I was touched by SOBER CHICK . I don't remember what the post was about. I remember commenting, and then emailing her. I thought what I was going thru was unusual, she talked about what you all have gone thru. I thanked her for being there, and she said it was just as much for her as it was for me. in the weeks to come she and others would post thoughts and prayers for me. Her and Scout both suggested to start a recovery blog, and how much it might help. Smart women, it did.

I never thought Day thirty would ever get here. Well it did. I was so happy and so proud of myself. WE did it. Never thought I could go a week, never less a month. I discovered love and uncovered a very messed up person. I gave that 30 day chip to my wife. It was something that I felt I needed to do. The more sobriety I gained the more painful memories I would uncover. In mid January, I would check myself into a hospital for depression. I was afraid of what I might do to myself or others around me. I learned so much about myself that weekend. I discovered what my actions had done to others. I discovered something great ,,,,my HP.

The second 30 days flew by. I can't believe it is here. We have shared our stories, our pain, and our joys. I now know what SC meant by she was there for her just as much as for me. I get that now. I have tried to give back to others like they have given to me. I took from you the knowledge of AA and sobriety, and I understand that it does no good to hold on to it. I will too give it away to others who are here now and who comes after me.

When I walked back from getting my chip today, I was thinking about a friend, who said they never stood up to get a chip or key chain ever. This person had been clean for over a year. I don't think that I could of done it without their support and friendship and prayers. I prayed for you today when I got this chip, hoping that together we can all make another 24 hours.

So sixty days today.. On day 62 my life will turn again when I enter rehab. I will learn and grow so much more. Thanks for being here during this bumping ride in my life.